VH1 television is cringeworthy

One of the big headlines in the news this week is the story about reality star Ryan Jenkins and the murder of his wife Jasmine Fiore and Jenkins’ subsequent suicide. In the story's wake, VH1 has cancelled the two shows that Jenkins was a participant on.

I've got some ideas for shows that VH1 could use to fill the holes on its schedule.

Scare Grandma to Death -- Is your loved one close to the end? If so, scare your grandmother enough to kill her. Winner gets their grandmother’s funeral paid for and a shot on the next I Love Money.

Homeless Hookup -- It’s the world’s first dating show for the destitute. Four homeless people take a journey on a subway car and by the end of the ride, two people will have a magical date at a soup kitchen. If the sparks continue to fly, they’ll have the chance to cap off the evening with a stay at the shelter.

Toddler Survivor -- A group of 12 toddlers are left alone in the jungle, competing for prize money and a one-year supply of Pampers. Watch and see if they can survive challenges including the snake toss and the boulder dash.

Who Wants to be a Dictator? -- Contestants go through a dictator boot camp and the winner becomes the next leader of Myanmar. The losers obviously get executed.

Are You Smarter Than a Meth Head? -- Answer 15 questions and if you get more correct than a meth head, you win a gazillion dollar prize, a private island in the Pacific and will be married to a supermodel. If you believed any of that, you’re already as dumb as a meth head. Good luck!

Prison Ink -- Just like the hit show Miami Ink, but instead of tattoo artists creating intricately detailed works of art, you’ll see how Nasty Nate handles his makeshift tattoo gun and pen ink. Infectious hilarity is sure to arise.

Mormon Wife Swap -- You’ve seen vegetarians get sent to a family of carnivores and right-wing nuts getting swapped with hippies. Now watch as two Mormon families swap wives to find out if the grass is greener on the other side. And when we say wives, we mean all of them.

Skank in the Tank -- 10 superficial women are thrown into a shark tank and the last one alive, wins $50,000 and the opportunity to marry the shark.

Shawn and Groupies Plus Seven -- An inside look at the life and times of former NBA star Shawn Kemp and the brood he’s fathered. Watch as Kemp gets taken to court for missing alimony payments and laugh as Kemp forgets his children's names.